


The Perfect Prefect

by Asensical



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phanfic - Fandom
Genre: Gryffindor! Dan, Harry Potter AU, Hufflepuff! Phil, M/M, Patronus, phandomreversebang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asensical/pseuds/Asensical
Summary: A PhandomReverseBang fic inspired by art by Ayushi !Dan Howell hasn't spoken to Phil Lester since the boy became a prefect. They used to be best friends, but over the past few years, time has drifted them apart from one another - that is, until an unfortunate game of Quidditch brings them together once again.





	1. Chapter 1

“Chew it! Chew it!”

“Oooooh, look, it’s turning his teeth green - “

“Dan! Dan! What flavor is it?”

“Euch,” Dan spat the remnants of the half-chewed, slobber coated jelly candy into his hand, earning a groan of disgust from his friends. “Earwax.”

Holly was overcome with a fit of giggling and flopped over onto the couch, clutching her sides in amusement. Her long hair tumbled down the sides of the couch cushion and brushed the floor every time she rolled about trying to catch her breath. Dan tossed the chunk of gnawed candy at Erik, who was sat on the floor in front of him with his legs crossed, and the boy dodged out of the way before it had the opportunity to hit him. The rejected green gummy bounded into the fireplace behind him and was immediately eaten by the flames.

“That’s plenty,” Dan scoffed, grinning at Holly as she struggled to breathe. “I’m going to call it quits on Botts I think. I’m a bit tired.”

“No way,” Erik argued with a shake of his head. “Dan, you’re always the last one running up the stairs at ten to bed. It’s only eight thirty, what’s the problem?” 

Dan only shook his head. Today’s defense against the dark arts class had been a bit rough on him, not because of his teacher but because of the current topic of teaching on hand. They’d learned about Patronuses today, particularly the way one might go about summoning one, and Dan had watched as several of his classmates recalled wonderful fond memories of their childhoods or their families or something of that sort. Each one that found the perfect memory managed to summon their own Patronus, these beautiful, ghost-like figures with glowing white eyes that pranced about in the air, unphased by the chattering around them. The class had watched on in amazement, and that was all fine and good of course, until Holly had turned to Dan with those small green eyes of hers and opened up her big fat mouth. She’d looked him right in the eye and asked him, “Why can’t you do that?”

It shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did, but Dan had always been known to be one of the strongest students in his class; definitely one of the top two in Gryffindor alone. In his sixth year at Hogwarts, it was almost unheard of that he didn’t yet have a patronus of his own. He knew that Holly couldn’t be the only one thinking such a thing, and his suspicions were confirmed by the stares and sympathetic pats he’d received from his classmates upon leaving the classroom. It bothered him that they all seemed to be disappointed by his inability to properly form a patronus, but really, Dan couldn’t think of a single memory pleasant enough to even begin to create one. His childhood wasn’t all that great, after all. Still that was no excuse for his failures today.

“It’s not about those dumb patronuses is it?” Holly finally shimmied her way up into a seated position on the couch beside Dan, where she turned to stroke the head of a scrawny gray cat that had sauntered up next to her. It began to sniff at the box of jellybeans in Dan’s hand. “You heard what the professor said - it’s really hard to get one, I mean, you’ve gotta be like, Phil Lester good to summon one on your first try like that.”

Dan was automatically irritated with her, once again. She had this horrible habit of reading him like a book. It didn’t matter how secretive and silent Dan tried to act, Holly had a vision for what was going on inside his head.

“Phil Lester probably has a ton of them,” Erik motioned with his arms to make his point. “Like a whole army of Patronuses, enough to take down a whole fleet of death eaters! What kinda animal do you think he’s got? Probably one of those tiny little dogs, what are they called? Corgis?”

“Nah, probably like a Kiwi or something,” Holly giggled.

Dan wondered if Phil Lester really did have a patronus already. Phil was an absolute legend amidst the school, a prefect from Hufflepuff house in his seventh year, and also a talented seeker on Hufflepuffs Quidditch team. The boy had everything going for him; His grades were never less than perfect, he was a valuable quidditch player, and his magic was said to be phenomenal. He and Dan had once been friends, back when Dan was a first year and Phil a second, but the split of the grades had drawn them apart and Phil quickly became too untouchable for Dan to interact with any longer. Now, Phil was simply known as the perfect Hogwarts student, adored by every teacher and the headmaster, and honestly every student as well. As a Hufflepuff prefect, Phillip Lester was very well known for being the kindest, most genuine student one could find at Hogwarts. 

It drove Dan crazy. 

“We have a game tomorrow morning,” Dan insisted, setting the box of candies down on the couch for that ugly gray cat to nibble on. “And I want to get some rest, that’s all. It’s nothing to do with those dumb patronuses.”

“If you say so,” Erik shrugged, pulling a jelly bean out of his own mouth to study it’s chewed up remains between his fingers. “Have fun sleeping.” 

Holly pointed to the jelly. “Candyfloss?” she inquired.

Erik simply shook his head. “Vomit.”

“Goodnight,” Dan interjected with a scrunch of his nose. He gathered up his Herbology book which sat beside him on the couch, long abandoned during his attempt at a study session, and shuffled up the cobblestone stairs into the dormitories. The sound of the crackling fireplace and Holly’s constant and incessant giggling slowly faded into a dull murmur behind the walls of the upstairs chamber. Dan turned towards the window and watched momentarily waiting for anything to move, but the dark sky outside was still and silent. That color reminded him of something, but he couldn’t quite place what it was…

He slept restlessly that night.

 

 

 

 

_Dan sat at the end of the lunch table with his head ducked down to his chest, silently studying the sore calluses on his palms. They were rough and white and hurt when he pressed his fingertips into them. He would’ve been proud of them, except they were born of a failed attempt - in this case, Dan’s failed attempt to fly his broomstick._

_Dan’s balance was horrid, which made for a disappointing morning of trying to stay upright on his broom and failing repeatedly. It was an exhausting morning and he had lost all motivation to try anymore. He could already feel dread rising in his throat at the mere thought of his entire class watching him fumble again. He squeezed his fist shut so he didn’t have to look at them anymore, heaving a deep sigh._

_A finger tapped his shoulder._

_“Howell, isn’t it? Dan Howell? My name is Phil, it’s nice to meet you.”_

***


	2. Chapter 2

Dan always found it somewhat irritating playing Quidditch against the Hufflepuff team. Not because they were rude, or because they cheated the way that Slytherins did, or because they were bad sports at the end of the day. One might think that those were the worst kinds of teams to be up against, the ones who were genuinely bitter towards their opponents. No, in fact, the members of team Hufflepuff weren’t like that at all. They were the kindest and fairest players he could ask to be up against, and that was exactly what made them so horrible. They didn’t get angry, didn’t shout or yell or seem aggressive, they would simply smile kindly at you as they flew past, apologize when they hit you with the Bludger, say “excuse me” when you almost bumped brooms, and all of this as they kicked your arse at Quidditch. 

According to everything Dan had heard growing up, Hufflepuff was not known for its remarkable Quidditch teams. They were mostly in the game for the fun of it, to enjoy themselves rather than to genuinely beat anyone, so Dan had always thought that the games against Hufflepuff would be the easiest ones for him. The first time Gryffindor and Hufflepuff went head-to-head, he was set straight.

The Hufflepuff team was good. Crazy good, actually, so good that Dan could hardly believe they were the same house that he’d always heard of. They absolutely abliderated the Gryffindor team the first time around, and from that point Dan took them much more seriously. 

A large part of Hufflepuffs success was Phillip Lester, an absolutely brilliant seeker. He was quick, calm, and quiet, could spin a broomstick around faster than anything Dan had ever seen, and held a school record of catching a snitch eight seconds after it was released. He was a brilliant player, a charming boy, and (as Dan thought as he watched him warm up on the Quidditch field), quite the attractive student. 

He stood approximately six feet, two inches (nearly the same as Dan himself,) and had the most beautiful hair, which might have been blue and might have been black but was lovely either way. He was pale, but in a way that made him look like a porcelain doll. Dan always thought that he carried himself like a royal, with those long legs and beautiful skin and the way he wore his uniform…

“Howell!”

Dan jumped at the sound of Coach Hooch’s voice, turning sheepishly to face her. Her yellow eyes were terrifying, but even more so when she was upset with him. He had been caught staring, hadn’t he? 

“Do I need to tell Mr. Lester to warm up elsewhere or can you keep your eyes to yourself?” she tilted her head at him suspiciously.

Dan’s ears began to burn. “Yes, ma’am - I mean, no ma’am,” he laughed uncomfortably. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“Mmhm,” she wandered away to continue instructing warmup, but Dan felt like her eyes were still on him as he completed his stretches and took his position to mount his broom. The stands were full now, students from both houses jittering anxiously in the stands preparing to watch the game. A few Ravenclaw and Slytherin students were speckled amongst their opposing house friends, but for the most part a wave of yellow, red, and gold glowed down onto the field. Phil, in his pretty yellow jersey, approached Dan before they went up, that beaming smile of his on full display.

“Good luck, Dan!” he held his hand out for Dan to shake. “I’m sure you’ll do wonderful.”

“Not as wonderful as you will,” Dan stuttered in response. He could feel his cheeks flushing and wondered if Phil had noticed; although he could blame it on his warmup. They shook hands briefly, (Dan could’ve sworn Phil squeezed his hand a bit tighter before letting go, but surely he was wrong), and the game was on.

A whistle blew from somewhere on the other side of the field, and the teams took to the sky all at once, rising up from the ground like birds taking flight. There was no hesitation from any one of them. Dan saw Phil out of the corner of his eye, vanishing in half a second as he took off after the flash of gold already fluttering somewhere near the left side of the field. The sounds of communicative shouting filled the silence and the wind began to rush in Dan’s ears. He took in a deep breath of that air and got immediately busy prowling for his shot at the Quaffle. 

It could be disorienting, with so many people going so many different directions - but Dan found he had a talent for zoning in on the ball and ignoring everything else going on around him. That didn’t make him a great Chaser, but it was good enough to get him onto the team, and that’s all he really cared about. Dan wasn’t a great player but he was a passionate one. He’d never been an athlete, in fact he’d much rather be sitting in his bed studying or napping, but there was something about flying a broomstick that kept him out of a rut...and seeing Phil Lester was admittedly a bonus, too.

“Howell! On your left!”

Dan spun his broomstick at the sound of the command, and stretched his arm out as the Quaffle passed by. It hit his gloved palm with a loud thunk and he quickly clutched it against his chest. He quickly accelerated towards the goals, swerving left and right amongst the other players coming after him. 

The crowd was screaming to his right, shouting his name. He tried not to look over, but he could feel a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. It was just like a performance. Just with less lines and music and more grunts and screaming.

Dan slid between two opposing players and hurled the ball over the keepers head. It passed through the hoop cleanly. His first goal of the game. The crowd cheered, and Dan could hear Holly shouting into the commentator mic - “YEAH! DAN! THAT’S DAN, I KNOW HIM!” - before he slid back out of the way, hanging back for his next opportunity. 

The game was going fairly smoothly. Within about a half hour, the score was moderately even, Hufflepuff leading by only ten points, as was to be expected of them. Dan was doing better than he’d anticipated this morning, with a few goals under his belt and a lot of sweat on the back of his neck. It was pretty warm outside today despite being so cloudy and it felt nice, for once. The smell of the turf beneath him pumped energy into his body.

He hadn’t seen much of either of the Seekers since the game had started, which must’ve meant that the snitch was being a bit more elusive that normal. As Dan flew lazily towards the goal to keep an eye out for another chance to participate, he silently wondered if there was some way to enchant the snitch to be more of a challenge for players like Phil, who could chase it down in mere seconds. As much as he knew about snitches, they tended to do whatever they felt like, but he supposed there must’ve been some way to up the level of difficulty…

“D-Dan! DAN HOWELL!”

Dan spun, but he couldn’t see where his name was coming from. He turned, even more confused, towards the goal, where Gryffindor’s keeper was giving him a look of absolute horror.

“Wh-”

“Aw, shit!”

CRACK!

The Bludger hit Dan’s head with such force that he practically didn’t feel it at all. The sound was deafening, splitting through all noise on the field and bringing it to an immediate halt. A gasp gathered around him like a cushion. For half a second, he was completely blinded - couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel anything, only the weightlessness that flooded his head and shoulders. He felt warm all of a sudden. He could almost feel himself losing his balance, but there was absolutely nothing he could do, his head rolling backwards towards the end of his broomstick.

The stick slid from Dan’s grip, and then he was free falling through the air. 

The next few moments of Dan’s life became nothing but a blur of sounds and feelings. He knew only a few things, 1. Holy shit, he just got taken out by a Bludger. A Bludger! Was he that stupid? 2. That he was about to hit the ground and it would not be pleasant, and, 3. That everyone around him, both on and off the field, were panicking. He could hear their fearful shouts flooding his ears from all sides. His eyes were open he realized, but he couldn’t see anything but darkness above him and had no idea how soon the ground was going to approach.

A final voice, remarkably close to him, spoke up loudly. Dan shut his eyes, bracing for impact on the solid ground. Had anyone ever died playing Quidditch before? Not that he’d heard of, but it didn’t seem unlikely all of a sudden. He prepared himself for an absolutely vicious landing on the turf below. 

“A - Arresto Momentum!”

 

 

_Dan stared hopelessly down at the ground at his feet. The thought that his feet would leave that solidity was terrifying - that he would lose control of where he was or where he was going, it brought panic to the bottom of his stomach. He was terrified to push off, terrified to move, out of fear that the broom would take off without him and leave him helpless._

_A pair of soft blue eyes caught his own. Phil squeezed Dan’s shoulder with the softest smile Dan had ever seen. He had a bright aura about him, the kind that brought a sense of calm over Dan as they looked at one another. Dan took a deep breath and blew it out through his mouth._

_“Just try it,” Phil said softly. “I promise it’ll be just fine. You can do this, Dan.”_

_Dan smiled up at him, and then he pushed off from the ground._

****


	3. Chapter 3

“What’s your name?”

“Daniel Howell.”

“Full name, dear.”

“Daniel James Howell.”

“What house are you in?”

“Gryffindor.”

“Your current headmaster is?”

“Uhm...that one woman, the one with the big eyes and the...her name starts with an F, I think…”

Madam Pomfrey sat back in her chair, nodding as the quill on the table beside her scribbled notes onto a piece of scrap paper. Dan watched it scratch out the final few words of their interaction before lifting and settling itself into its inkwell like a dog making itself comfortable. After a few moments of silence, he made an effort to sit up on his cot, but the nurse held a finger up to stop him. It was proved unnecessary, as he immediately regretted the motion when blood rushed into his brain and his head began pounding like a troll on a door. His whole head was wrapped in bandage but that did nothing to stop the pain that was wracking him from the inside out. 

The infirmary was fairly empty at this time, which Dan took as a blessing. He’d feel like a complete fool having to explain himself to anyone he knew if they happened to be here. Surely everyone was laughing at him right now, especially the Gryffindor students, and even the thought of returning to the commons gave him anxiety unlike anything else. Erik would never let him live this one down. First the patronus, and now this. It hadn’t been a good few days for him. 

“Well, you took quite a beating,” she admitted crisply, crossing one leg over the other. “Those bludgers can be vicious, though I admit I’ve never seen someone take a fall like that from a broomstick.”

“Can you at least tell me what happened?” Dan grumbled under his breath. He knew that he fell, and he knew that he woke up, but any event in between was completely lost to him. The throbbing in his head was evidence enough that he was, in fact, hit by a bludger, and he did, in fact, tumble from his broom like a complete fool in front of the entire stadium. However, there were a few questions that still remained unanswered, and he couldn’t stand being the only one not aware of his own situation. 

“I’ve told you all that I know,” the nurse insisted as she rose from her chair. Dan watched her bustle over to the sink and fill a small paper cup with water. He realized quite suddenly how dry his throat was. “You got hit by another Gryffindor, from what I was informed, and you fell from the sky like a brick. Not much else to say about it.”

The nurse returned to his bedside. She slid a small vial from her apron pocket and opened it, dripping a few small drops of whatever liquid was inside into the water. She spouted off a quick explanation of what she was putting into Dan’s drink, something about a healing potion and some of its side effects although Dan wasn’t really listening, and returned the vial to her pocket. After swirling it for a few moments, she held it out to him to take. It glowed a faint blue in her hand. 

“Someone slowed my fall,” Dan shifted in his bed, sitting up enough to reach for the cup when it was handed to him. He took a long, slow sip before continuing. The water tasted sweet, but he couldn’t tell if it was because of the potion or simply his confused taste buds. “You have no idea who?”

Pomfrey shook her head, to Dan’s disappointment. “They certainly didn’t tell me anything about that. All I know about is what Phillip told me, when he brought you here.”

“Phillip?” Dan’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the boys name. He tried to imagine where on the field Phil was when the incident happened, but he really couldn’t recall ever seeing him when the game was in motion. He would’ve remembered seeing him go by, certainly. Unless he was below him. Unless he was the one who saved Dan from hitting the ground. 

“Phillip Lester? The dark haired prefect boy from Hufflepuff, I believe. I’m not positive that’s his house, but I really can’t imagine him coming from anywhere else, quite truly.” 

“How did he…”

“Carried you here, Daniel, like a ragdoll. Very sweet. He only left a few minutes ago, before you woke up, but if you’d like me to call him back - “

“No, no, that’s alright.” Dan stared at the paper cup in his hand, hoping that his blush wasn’t visible from where she was standing. Carried to the nurse by Phillip Lester. He was embarrassed, to say the least, at the thought of Phil having to drag him here, especially since he must’ve been heavy, and the game had to have ended or at least been paused without Hufflepuff’s seeker. He wondered if coach told him to take Dan to the nurse, or if he simply did it without asking, because he wanted to. Maybe he really was the one who cast the momentum spell to keep Dan from plummeting to the ground. In that case, Dan owed Phil a huge apology for saving his life. He would have to find him once he was freed from this prison of a cot to ask him the truth. The thought of speaking to him face-to-face for the first time in years brought jitters to Dan’s stomach, but he couldn’t tell if they were from excitement or nerves. 

“I suggest taking it easy for the rest of the day, but I don’t have an issue with you leaving now. Just no Quidditch practice for the next few days or so. If you’re having any issue with paying attention or forgetting anything, come on back and I’ll give you another dose, but what I gave you really should do the trick.” The quill took to work writing up Dan’s instructions on a fresh sheet of parchment. Once it’s job was done, the nurse handed the small slip to Dan, who slid it into the pocket of his uniform and thanked her kindly for her trouble. She gave only a simple hum in reply.

He wasn’t feeling excellent quite yet, but Dan managed to clamber out of bed without any incident and made his way out of the infirmary. It was nearly dinnertime now, meaning that most of his classmates were in the great hall, but Dan didn’t know if he could bring himself to face them quite yet. He could imagine the hush that would fall over the room if he entered. They would all look at him with judgement. Instead, Dan moved back towards the Gryffindor commons, his eyes on the floor, his headache a dull throbbing above his left temple. He could feel his hands shaking at his sides. Was he really this afraid to talk to Phil? He shouldn’t be, and he knew it - the boy was one of the sweetest people Dan had ever known, surely he wouldn’t mind Dan taking a few seconds of his time, and yet…

There was something about those eyes. Those perfect deep blue eyes. They struck something into Dan’s gut that he had no way of explaining. That feeling was jittery, but calm at the same time; it was cooler than a breeze, but as warm as a fireplace. He felt like he could chat with Phillip for days, but also like he wasn’t worthy of even approaching him. Two sides of the same charming, brilliant, talented coin - 

And shit, Dan knew exactly what the problem was. 

“Dan!”

The sound of that voice made Dan’s heart set fire in his chest. He felt sweat coat his palms so suddenly that he didn’t have a moment to think about wiping them on his legs before he was turning towards it. His mouth was dry, his legs shaking, and he had a hard time lifting his eyes to meet the beautiful blue pearls standing before him. 

And god, this lighting made them look beautiful. Phil stood with the slightest slouch, his dark hair a single wave across his pale forehead. Dan could see from here the tiniest freckles lightly spotted across the boy’s nose and a hint of sunburn on his porcelain cheeks. Phil was looking at him with a grin so pure that Dan really couldn’t help but to smile back. He was face-to-face with Phillip Lester, his savior, the perfect prefect, Hogwarts’ best student - and the boy that Dan had feelings for. Real, actual feelings that snuck up on him like a serpent through the grass. He opened his mouth to speak, but found that he had absolutely nothing to say.

Phil stepped closer to Dan, reaching out to touch his shoulder. Dan was silently thankful that Phil didn’t reach for his hands. “I’m so sorry I didn’t stick around to wait for you to wake up. I was really worried that you were hurt badly, I guess the nurse was getting annoyed with my rambling, so she told me to get out. I’m sure you probably wouldn’t have liked it much either, but I still feel bad for not being there. Is your head alright? Does it hurt?”

He talks like a Hufflepuff, Dan thought, and he suddenly understood why the nurse said she couldn’t imagine him anywhere else. Even with no knowledge of Phil’s house, one could make the logical assumption of where he belonged. The soft, sweet, quick timbre of his voice and the genuine glow of his eyes was so kind, so innocent, that Dan really couldn’t picture him being anything but a Hufflepuff. They barely knew each other anymore, but the concern there on Phil’s face told Dan all he needed to know about who Phil was inside. Only one person had ever given Dan a look that pure.

“I’m perfectly alright,” Dan assured him. He felt the urge to touch Phil’s shoulder in response, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about that, and it would have been a bit awkward anyway. “I was actually looking for you. I wanted to apologize for causing you so much trouble. I know it was pretty dumb, and I should’ve been paying better attention. I just really appreciate the help. So thank you.”

Phil’s eyes widened and grew even brighter than before. “Oh! That’s so nice of you! You really don’t have to thank me, though, Dan, I’m happy to help. Besides, I wasn’t going to let you fall.”

He pulled his hand away from Dan’s shoulder, but didn’t make a move to step away. They looked at each other for a few moments, Dans ears red-hot pokers at the sides of his head. He wanted to find the right words to say, but all he found himself doing was staring. His mind was racing a thousand miles an hour. It had been so long since he’d liked anyone at all that he was unfamiliar with the way that his stomach was leaping up and down in a panic, as if screaming, He’s standing right there! Look at him!, like Dan wasn’t already viciously aware of Phi’s presence. What an idiot he was, letting himself feel like this for not only an upperclassman, but an upperclassman boy, a boy who as far as Dan was aware had never shown feelings for another male. Phil would never be gay, would he? 

“Oh, well, you know,” Dan stuttered awkwardly, wondering how much of a fool he looked. “I really appreciate you taking the time to help. It means a lot. You really didn’t have to...to carry me down, like you did.”

“She told you about that?” Phil laughed a bit under his breath, and Dan could sense a nervous energy there that brought butterflies to his stomach. There was something sweet about that embarrassment. “Sorry if that wasn’t okay. The spell was enough to slow you down, but I still didn’t want to let you land on the grass, so I caught you instead. After that point, you were sort of already in my arms. It seemed the easiest thing to do.”

Dan briefly wished he had been awake for that, but then the thought of everyone in the stadium watching it pulled him out of his fantasy. He was right. Erik would really never let him live this down. Dan, the failure of a sixth year who couldn’t even summon a patronus and almost died from falling from a broomstick, getting saved by Phil Lester, Hogwarts’ angel, handsome boy, and perfect student. It stung him somewhere he couldn’t explain. Maybe he had been held by Phil Lester, but he had also been humiliated in the same way. He wanted to crawl beneath a rock and die.

Instead, Dan stood up a little straighter and suppressed his discomfort. He grinned charmingly at Phil, who was looking at him with blushy red cheeks and a look in his eyes that Dan could have mistaken for fondness if he didn’t know any better. 

“No need to apologize, you spork.” Dan laughed quietly, and immediately hated himself for sounding so flirtatious. It had been way too long since he’d tried at this. “You saved my life and I owe you one.”

Phil leaned in closer to him, although he seemed unaffected by Dan’s charms. “You don’t owe me anything, Dan. Just to get better and be more careful next time.” His smile wavered almost imperceptibly. “You kind of scared me.”

Dan could feel his nerves prickling at his fingertips. “That’s exactly why I owe you,” he persisted, feeling guilty. “If you ever need anything, just let me know, okay? I’m not good for much, but I can certainly try to help out.”

“You’re sure?” Phil’s pale eyebrows raised thoughtfully.

“Of course.”

“Potions, then.”

Dan studied his face for a brief second. He didn’t seem to be kidding. Phil’s eyes were still warm, but not at all mischievous. Yet Dan couldn’t make sense of what he’d just said. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

Phil’s embarrassed expression only grew deeper. He fumbled with the sleeve of his robe and shrugged uncomfortably. “I need some help in potions right now. I know you’re really good at it. You got the felix felicis, didn’t you, from Slughorn?”

Dan nodded, but he still hardly understood. Dan was good in potions, but he was hardly an expert, and Phil was an entire year ahead of him - there would be absolutely no way Dan would know how to make some of the complex potions a seventh year student was expected to know. Besides, Phil was top of his class. Him struggling in potion making? How could that possibly be?

It didn’t add up, yet Dan found himself unable to ask any questions. Something strange was starting to happen. The nerves in his arms began quivering, his headache suddenly and without warning vanished as if sucked from the back of his skull. He could feel himself growing pale.

“Dan, are you okay?” Phil tilted his head to look at Dan’s face, which was now turned away from him, towards the line of torches lighting the hallway above their heads. 

Dan couldn’t feel his legs or his toes. For a brief moment, he wondered if he was actually sleepwalking, or maybe it was his concussion messing with him. His stomach suddenly felt more than unsettled. It started to cramp, doing somersaults beneath his robes. He pressed a hand to his gut as his brow furrowed, his expression fading from confused to blank. This felt like more than nerves to him. What was going on?

“I’m...I’d - “ Dan lifted a hand to his lips as he suddenly felt something shift inside of him that took the situation from inconvenient to dangerous. He looked down to the floor in concentration, his mind racing as he tried to think of what could be happening to him. “I think...I’m going to throw up.”

“What?!” Phil stepped forward with a concerned arm outstretched, but Dan put a hand up to stop the boy from getting closer. He began to back away with his head shaking methodically back and forth. Hadn't Pomphrey said something about a side effect of the potion? Why hadn't he listened?

“I’m sorry,” Dan mumbled. His legs were still numb, but they luckily moved just fine as Dan pulled away from Phil and stumbled off down the hallway towards where he recalled the nearest bathroom to be. He called behind him to the prefect boy, embarrassed and flustered with his hand over his mouth. “I’ll be back! I’m so sorry!”

He would have to help Phillip Lester with his potions. 

He was also puking into a toilet. 

 

_The feeling of flying was something that Dan had never experienced before - not like flying in a plane, which he had done several times before, but rather like floating, being alone with the air surrounding him like a thousand pillows from every side. His toes lifted up from the ground, and then he was levitating. There was no weight on his body, nothing to pull him back down. The broom did most of the work. The bright blue sky became clearer and clearer above his head, his worries dissipating into the gentle breeze that filtered through his hair._

_He couldn’t find it within himself to be afraid anymore - the ground was getting further and further away, but maybe it really was him getting further away from it. A smile lighter than air spread across his cheeks and he felt the need to put his hands up to feel the wind between his fingers. What was there to be afraid of?_

_Not to mention, down below, Phillip Lester was waving at him with both hands, beaming, leaping up and down. Dan laughed as his voice bellowed up._

_“Dan! Dan!”_

_“Phil!”_

_“You did it!”_


	4. Chapter 4

Dan swirled the glass vial in his hand, watching the mesmerizing blue color of the liquid inside sparkle in the light of the lamps overhead. It was the prettiest hue he’d ever seen, crystalline and perfect all the way through, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever been more fascinated by a potions ingredient before this one.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Dan looked up at the sound of Phil’s voice. The boy was working to measure just the right amount of moonstone into a cup, tapping the shimmery bits of powder into a spoon the size of Dan’s pinkie finger. His eyes were warm and concentrated, his shoulders hunched slightly over the potions table. It was the weekend, which meant Phil’s normal Hufflepuff robes were replaced by a colorful purple jumper and a pair of thick glasses, and Dan thought it made him look absolutely precious. Very pretty, Dan thought, but he wasn’t thinking of the potion anymore.

To keep himself from saying that out loud, Dan nodded, gently setting the pre-measured substance onto the table in front of him. “Hellebore, right?” he asked with a gentle smile. “Makes sense that such a pretty flower would produce something like this.”

“It’s one of my favorites,” Phil admitted sheepishly. He completed his measurement of the moonstone and moved on to the sack of Valerian root he found somewhere in a cabinet. Dan watched him shift the ingredients about the table with skilled hands, smoother than anything Dan had ever seen before. It was clear that Phil knew precisely what he was doing, and even clearer that Dans help wasn’t really help at all. “I like all of the ingredients of this potion. They’re really lovely, but really picky when they’re all put together, and I’m not great with measurement.”

Dan could tell just from the way Phil said it, and from the cautious, deft way he handled the measuring tools and ingredients, that Phil was lying about that. Phil wasn’t bad at measurement at all. He reached for each new ingredient and cup and navigated the space in front of him like a highly skilled professor. Dan would have forgotten how clumsy Phil was by seeing his talent and grace with potions, if he didn’t know any better. All Dan could do was watch in awe like a fool. So why did he say he needed Dan’s help?

“I’m always happy to assist,” he assured regardless, leaning his elbow against the table and peering into the cauldron between them. The potion, at the moment, bubbled a soft yellow, which Phil had explained meant they had done everything right so far. It smelled like fresh air to Dan, like grass and something slightly sweet - maybe daisies? “Are you about ready to tell me what it’s going to be yet?”

“Not until it’s done!” Phil nudged Dan’s arm with a grin that made Dan’s heart flutter. “I promise it’s nothing evil, if that’s what you’re worried about. I don’t agree with potions like that.” 

“Is it a love potion?” Dan inquired smugly. 

“No!” Phil’s nose scrunched and he shook his head, as if disgusted by the thought. “I can’t stand those. Manipulating someone with magic to make them like you is just….ugh. I can’t even imagine doing that to somebody.”

Dan nodded in agreement. He completely felt the same way. There had been a point during his second year when a strange third year boy snuck Amortentia into Holly’s goblet at dinner, and the change he saw in her over the next few weeks was nothing short of terrifying - she wasn’t herself in that time, and Dan didn’t trust any potion that could do that to somebody. The fact that Phil didn’t agree with it either only made Dan like him more.

“Anyways,” Phil continued softly as he poured the moonstone into the cauldron, “If someone’s going to fall in love with me, I’d want it to be genuine - because they want to. You know?”

“Yeah, I do.” Dan was glad Phil was distracted by the potion, because suddenly Dan couldn’t stop staring at him. His heart was pounding in his chest. Why would Phil ask Dan to come help him with potions when he didn’t need help at all? Because he wanted to spend time with Dan. That was the only reason Dan could think of, the only reason Phil would ask for Dan to join him just to watch him brew up a potion. Could that possibly be? Was there a chance that Phil really wanted to be his friend? Or did he just feel bad for him?

“Do you have eyes for someone right now?” Phil asked rather casually. The anxiety in Dan’s throat leapt up towards his mouth. Phil quickly looked to Dan sheepishly as he emptied the bowl of Valerian root into the potion. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that, that was sort of rude of me to ask.”

Dan swallowed his discomfort. “No, no, it’s alright. I do have eyes for someone, but I highly doubt they feel the same way. I’m sort of a mess, I can hardly imagine anyone having feelings for me.”

Phil paused in his stirring to turn his face towards Dan. The two of them looked at each other in uncomfortable silence for a few painful moments, accompanied only by the bubbling of the potion between them, until Phil decided to speak up. 

“What do you mean?” he asked with a frown. He shifted in his chair, setting the cleanly measured cup of hellebore syrup aside to focus his soft blue eyes on Dan’s. “Dan, you’re a brilliant person. You’re one of Gryffindors best students! How could you say you’re a mess?”

Dan blinked at him, stunned. He hadn’t expected Phil to have such a strong reaction. The expression on the Hufflepuff boys face seemed genuinely disturbed by Dan’s statement and Dan suddenly felt bad for ever saying it. The fact of the matter was, Phil could never convince Dan that he was wrong. Dan would never be up to Phil’s standards, even if he tried to, would never be a good enough wizard or a good enough person to convince Phil to fall for someone like him. Dan may have seemed like a powerful student in his grade, but anyone who knew him more closely than by a brief glance knew that he was nothing but useless. Phil’s gaze burned him. Rather than apologizing, however, he began trying to explain himself.

“I get good grades and stuff, sure, but I’m a walking disaster,” he grumbled. After a pause, it was clear that Phil wasn't going to reply, so he continued, his voice growing more intense the longer he spoke. “I fell off my broom, and you had to save my life because I’m incompetent in the air. I didn’t listen to the nurse when she told me about the side effects of the healing potion she gave me. And even before that, a few days ago I couldn’t even summon a patronus.” Dan was shocked to find himself struggling to continue. “I should’ve been able to do that. Everyone was expecting me to do it, but I just couldn’t - I couldn’t think of a single memory that I could use, and it made me look like an idiot because my grades are so good, shouldn’t I be good enough to do a simple spell? I should be able to think of a good memory, shouldn’t I?”

“Dan?”

Dan closed his mouth and shook his head. He was on the verge of tears suddenly for no good reason, his chin quivering. He refused to look up to Phil, embarrassed beyond words by the way he was acting all of a sudden. He didn’t know why he was telling Phil any of this when he was sure the boy didn’t care, and even if he pretended to, it was only because Phil was a good person. Dan felt like a complete fool. Of course, the only reason Phil had asked Dan to help wasn’t because he liked him - it was because he was nice. It was because Dan had insisted on paying him back, and he didn’t want to say no, because that was the kind of person he was. Idiot, Dan scolded himself. Bloody idiot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to babble.”

“Dan,” Phil insisted, reaching out to touch Dan’s knee. Dan stared at his pale fingers numbly. “Everybody struggles sometimes. Nobody’s perfect, not even close, I mean, otherwise we wouldn’t be human beings, right? Nobody here expects you to be a flawless student because that’s just unrealistic. You’re here to learn just like the rest of us.”

Dan couldn’t help but laugh softly. He shrugged his shoulders weakly. “But you’re flawless. You’ve got the best grades, plus you’re a prefect, and people get feelings for you, and you’re a brilliant seeker, too, one of the best that Hooch said she’d ever seen. How can you tell me there’s no such thing as perfect when you’re sitting right here?”

And god, that sounded flirtatious. Dan was blushing before, but his cheeks flooded with heat as soon as the words left his mouth, surely turning him a deep shade of violet. There was no way he was looking at Phil now. He had meant every word he’d just said, but he was terrified of the way the Hufflepuff boy would respond. Had he gone too far?

“Dan,” Phil’s low voice rumbled, interrupting Dan’s rushing thoughts. “Guess what.”

Dan counted the stitches in his sweater. “What?”

“I can’t summon a patronus, either.”

The words didn’t register for a brief moment, swirling in Dan’s head without forming a solid thought. When it finally made sense, when the reality of Phil’s statement struck him, it hit like a bullet. He looked up, made eye contact with Phil, who was gazing at him softly, leaning towards him with an embarrassed glow on his pale cheeks. Dan couldn’t find the words to say. Every sentence he tired to form got lost on the back of his tongue.

“You really can’t?”

“No, I can’t,” Phil shrugged. “It’s not as easy of a spell as you might think. It takes a lot of concentration, and a vivid great memory. I don’t really have any of those to choose from. It’s not that strange, and there’s nothing wrong at all with the fact that you can’t summon one. Some wizards are never able to find a patronus, and nobody thinks lesser of them because of it.”

Dan’s eyes were watering. He couldn’t help feeling stupid as he looked into Phil’s eyes. There was something sad there in them, perhaps pity, that made Dan feel small the longer they exchanged their gazes. Phil reached for the spoon in the cauldron and began to gently stir the potion again, but Dan was still highly aware of Phil’s free hand rested on his knee, a tether of comfort between them. 

“Thank you for telling me,” Dan murmured finally, forcing himself to smile. “That...does make me feel better.”

“Maybe we could try to summon them together sometime.” Phil tapped the spoon on the edge of the cauldron to empty it of the liquid. “It wouldn’t hurt to try, at least, and I feel comfortable around you.”

Dan leaned forwards. “Really?”

“Of course.” Phil grinned at him out of the corner of his eye. “You’re one of the closest friends I’ve ever had here. I wish we’d never stopped hanging out.”

“Me too.” Dan strongly considered for a brief moment setting his hand onto Phil’s, casually expressing his feelings in such a way that wouldn’t make Phil uncomfortable, but he couldn't seem to force his hand to move. “And we should definitely try together.”

Phil set the spoon down on the table, motioning to the potion with a bright smile. “There! All finished, now. It’s the right color so I’m pretty sure we did it right, too.” Dan knew he hadn’t helped at all, but he felt warm at the thought of them making the potion together. “It should do the job, anyways.”

“Now will you tell me what it is? Felix Felicis? Did you make it for yourself?” 

Phil shook his head and reached for a jar to pour the concoction into. He began to spoon the liquid one scoop at a time into the container, and Dan watched silently as the mesmerizing blue potion swirled at the edges of the glass. It really was beautiful, almost seeming to glow beneath the lamplight. Phil spooned the final bit into the glass and put the stopper on before reaching for a roll of twine he had told Dan to retrieve from the broom closet. He tied a thin strip of it around the top of the bottle tightly and knotted it.

“Perfect, isn’t it? I think it’s really pretty,” Phil held the bottle up to the light for the both of them to study in awe. “It’s a draught of peace. Pomphrey sometimes suggests it to students who are having a hard time with their anxiety.”

Dan vaguely remembered being taught how to make that potion in his fifth year, but he hadn’t done a very good job. Phil was right in saying that it was a challenging potion to make. Dan’s potions teacher had been absolutely brutal towards him about the order and amount of the ingredients. 

“Sounds nice. But what do you need it for?”

“I don’t.” Phil held the vial out towards Dan with a small tilt of his head. “I feel like you’ve been really stressed lately, Dan. I’ve been sort of worried about you.”

Dan looked from the vial to Phil and back again. “For me?” he asked softly. 

Phil pushed it forwards into Dan’s hand, holding it there tightly. Dan could feel his heart pounding, his face burning, and his hands sweating - but he really couldn’t pull away. The genuine concern and fondness in Phil’s low voice was beyond anything Dan had ever felt before. He couldn’t help his smile from growing wider, the dimples in his cheeks deepening. Phil squeezed his hand for a brief moment before pulling away, leaving the potion there in Dan’s palm. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Phil whispered. “I’m always here for you to make sure that happens.”

Dan couldn’t find the right words to say how he truly felt about that. He was overwhelmed suddenly with the most brilliant feeling rising up through his chest. 

“Thank you, Phil,” he gushed, laughing under his breath. 

“No need to thank me, Dan.” Phil motioned towards the table, which was now a mess of bottles and powders. “Now help me clean this up.”

 

 

_“I did it! I’m flying! Phil, I’m flying!”_

_Phil held his arms up in the air, a reminder to Dan’s shaking figure that he was there and wouldn’t let him hit the ground. Dan couldn’t even think about it at the moment, however, because he was jittery with excitement, higher than life and breathing in the freshest air he’d ever inhaled. The broom was smooth beneath his hands, the grass the brightest color of green beneath him, and he hadn’t a single care in the world._

_“Do you want to try landing?” Phil shouted up at him, his hands cupped around his mouth to project his voice. Dan was enjoying just being the air, and hadn’t quite yet considered the descent part of flying - but he knew he would have to learn eventually. Suddenly a bit worried, he nodded frantically._

_“Yeah! What do I do?”_

_“Push down on the front of the handle, and turn in a circle! You’ll come down slow!”_

_Dan did as he was told, with as much caution as possible. He pushed very lightly down on the broom, and it began to move downwards in the direction of where he turned it, bringing the ground closer and closer to his feet. He was on the edge of hysterics as it became very real that he was about to land on the ground, and his hands shook around the broom handle._

_“Reach your toes out, but don’t straighten your legs,” Phil instructed carefully. “I’m right here, just push down a little bit more!”_

_Dan tried to follow instructions, pushing his toes out towards the suddenly rapidly approaching ground. The closer the grass became, the clearer each blade became in his vision, the more afraid he grew - and then a wave of panic flooded into his throat and he knew he was going to crash._

_Dan stuck his legs out straight, his eyes wide open, and then the ground hit, and his locked knees flung him forward off of the broom. The broom itself fell flat into the grass, and Dan fell forwards into Phil’s outstretched arms. The boy caught him tightly against his chest, a chuckle rising up in his throat._

_“I’m so sorry,” Dan stuttered, “I really didn’t mean to - I tried - “_

_“You did it!” Phil squeezed his shoulders, shaking him back and forth energetically. “You flew a broomstick and you landed! I’m so proud of you!”_

_Dan fell silent, then, but a grin spread across his face._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've ever written so I appreciate the feedback! Thanks to everyone who's read!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! Thanks so much to Ayushi for making some incredible artwork to go along with it, and to megiaolf for being a great beta and helping me edit this fic!


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